Happy fall! We hope you’re enjoying all things pumpkin and apple. Now that we’re a few weeks into your new living situation, let’s talk about how to navigate roommate conflicts. 

Communication is Key

All relationships, even roommates, benefit from a good dose of healthy communication. Let’s dive into what makes up good communication.

Talk it out - When an issue arises, it’s important to talk it out instead of bottling it up. Suppressing emotions like frustration or anger can only make the situation worse in the long run and lead to bigger conflicts. Hold space for the issue and communicate to your roommate what the problem is and how you’re feeling. 

Listen - Did you leave out dirty socks or forget to take out the trash? It’s okay. It happens. Especially with juggling a lot of school responsibilities. If your roommate wants to talk about something you did, make sure to listen instead of becoming defensive. It’s never easy to take criticism, but it shows a lot of maturity and emotional intelligence to listen, apologize and say you’ll do better. 

Compromise - Does your roommate stay up late while you go to bed early? Differences in routines and priorities can create a lot of tension, especially if you’ve never shared your space before. In these situations, it’s important to talk it out, listen carefully to both sides and then come up with a compromise that works for both of you. Maybe if your roommate stays up late, they can get ready early to reduce noise once you’re asleep. 

Ask Friends and Family for Advice

Did you give your all at communicating, listening and compromising and are still having issues? Then you may want to reach out to family and friends and see if they have any ideas on how to navigate or resolve the situation. Talking it through with other people who aren’t a part of the situation can help shed light on different perspectives. They might be able to point out something important that you hadn’t thought or give advice on how to make it work with your roommate.

Talk to your RAs and RDs

If your situation with your roommate goes beyond something that you can solve on your own, reach out to your RAs or RDs. They are there to help you and are a great resource for navigating a conflict that can’t be solved through standard solutions.

RAs, or Resident Assistants, are student staff who live on your floor in the residence halls. Your first step would be to go to them. If the situation requires even more help, then it would be best to stop by the office hours of the RD (Residence Director) of your building and seek their help.

Next Up

Remember that empathy, communication, listening and compromises go a long way towards having a healthy relationship with your roommate. When in doubt, go to family, friends, RAs or RDs for advice. You got this! 

Next up in our blog series is your guide to dining on campus.